Black Business and Respect

Posted: May 12, 2021 in Uncategorized

I had been thinking about this for a little bit, as much as my people want to be in business for themselves and want to hire black and all those other things, we don’t even respect the black dollar. In most cases our friends who are business owners we are not supporting their businesses and if we are we walk in the door looking for a discount. By and large on the other side we don’t walk into any other race’s business looking for a discount. We want them to respect our dollar and know we have the dollar to spend but we don’t do that for our own people. Consider when your friend who maybe a business owner asks you to do a task, you drag your feet or require payment up front. Let that be another race and there is an extra effort to get it done quickly.

Consider the black supervisor or owner you work for, in his business where he/she makes money is there an effort to do everything timely and correctly? Are you tuck on your phone or doing the extra crazy stuff? Would you be doin that in the white business for the white boss? There is a level of respect for the white dollar and not the black dollar. In the black business we talk reckless to the black boss and storm off like we own the place and wouldn’t do that in the white business. We want the black boss to give thousands of chances and we understand the lines we crossed in the white business. If someone is my friend, I will respect them as my friend and a business owner to conduct myself in the best possible way.

I remember an experience with a friend of mine who passed along a project to me. I wasn’t even getting paid but I knew my friend needed the money and the look so I was going to do the labor and keep it moving. I quoted a price to the person which was probably the cheapest i could find the materials needed. Now mind you i searched for the combination to get the materials, the lady had no real idea of what she wanted, and didn’t even have the colors or logos for her business. She wanted me to come and take pictures and develop a logo which was different from what I was tasked to do. We agreed on the price, which was double the price of the materials, this would allow my friend to eat, look good, and deliver a product. After i did all the research, sourcing, and work. She come and tells me all these changes and what her vision was for the project. This was the same question I asked from the top mind you. Next after all the world was done she wanted to negotiate the price, the price was already subsidized for my time, she wanted to pay a quarter of the agreed upon price. This basically means I take the L on half the materials and my friend doesn’t get paid in the end. She was a POC woman so is my friend, and the way I heard her talk to the mailman she wouldn’t have handled the white time and dollar which such little regard. Thing like this is why we need need to continue to work on first respecting the black dollar and then making everyone else respect it.

Writing everyday

Posted: May 9, 2021 in Uncategorized
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I can say I write everyday, not even on purpose. Within the first 30 mins of waking up no matter the time, I find sometimes to sit at my book with pen and paper and write down something. This year it has been a poem a day. I have loved writing poems on pen and paper, its the way the ink hit the pen, the ability to really see the words on the paper and convey your message. I have always written poems on paper first, of course there are rare times when you have to use a digital medium. Keeping a journal has been so hard for me, so I usually used poetry to do that heavy lifting. I drop in my thoughts, ideas, and feelings, into poems. We all need a place to express ourselves just for us. I encourage you to find that, everyday drop yourself a little message.

You owe it to yourself to tell yourself good things, we live in a world where people are artificially raising their value, I am sure there are some real life things you can use to remind yourself that you are awesome. You are awesome, Keep working, keep striving, keep doing all the amazing things.

Babies are business

Posted: May 5, 2021 in Uncategorized

I had no conversation with a friend today, a repeat of other conversations in the last few weeks. It was this trend we had for a while of shows with paternity as the theme I get it and understand for women that a man even asking for this feels like a shot but the truth is babies are business. To me as a man I feel like if there is no other possibility then a paternity test is a formality.

Here is the other thing and this goes to business, what if you had a drunken night out with the girls and missed a few hours there is a chance an encounter could have happened and lets say it did, FOR ME all parties deserve to know the deal. I personally feel if we both knew the kid wasn’t mine and I was given a choice there is a chance I raise the kid and keep it moving. It is the lack of choice that gets me, because on the business side there is a lot of money that goes into kids as well as emotion. Once legal documents are signed no state has to remove your name off the birth certificate.

In addition I have seen a few times the uncertainty or paternity being wielded as a weapon “thats why this isn’t your child…” that is very hurtful. The ability to ay whatever because someone is mad and toy with emotions is nasty. There needs to be a level of certainty for everyone. What if there is a need for blood or some health issues down the road being certain of the information is important. What alot of people don’t realize in most cases those legal documents are given in the midst of the euphoria of having a baby, this paper work with legal documentation that confirms you are declaring yourself the legal father of a child for ever. Most men sign these documents without really reading because they are so excited about a kid but this is business and to ensure the business is right for both himself, the family, and that kid its important to gather all the information possible before signing.

This may seem a way but it isn’t really a personal attack, morso protecting everyone interest. There could be a man out there wanting to have a relationship with their child and has no idea and deserves the right to know. I guess I have always felt that I want the ability to decide for myself and no one to decide for me, lets sit down and have real talk and go from there no harm no foul. Better communication as family and children like a marriage is all signed by contact so lets do GOOD BUSINESS.

How do we do this?

Posted: April 21, 2021 in Uncategorized

In this current society we are fighting on multiple fronts. One one front we are fighting the war of civility. It is said that this is a nation that is open to accept everybody and has a willingness to welcome anyone one, yet they charge immigrants upwards of 10,000 for citizenship and fine any business that will hire then before they get their paper work. So how do they get the money? In addition a society that has built its self on laws that allow people to protest things they don’t like yet stakes like Florida passed laws to do everything but say its illegal to do just that. In addition, this society HATES FAT PEOPLE doing anything. When was the last time you seen a movie with a fat lead, who fell in love? A true drama, every movie is some fat people being the comedy relief, the mad side kick, or the evil person. A fat person in the guy, they too fat to be there, a fat person sitting down, eating, sleeping, looking at tv, smiling, breathing, or anything else and they come and find you and make you feel bad for doing anything. You can barely find clothes and when you can its 250% higher in cost. When you go looking for shoes they are not cool colors, they are just white black and grey. Then there are black people, everytime black people raise an issue about anything they do anything to say “sit down, and shut up: without saying it. Its always “not the right time” Florida passed a entire bill recently that basically outlawed protesting. So I wonder, How do we do this in this country? How do we exist in a country that wants to have “diplomacy” but not really?

The Power of No

Posted: April 13, 2021 in Uncategorized

The word “No” is a supper powerful word in our language. I dare say it maybe one of the the most powerful words that can enrage people. Over the last five years we have RIGHTLY SO been focused on issues of consent. The funny thing is we only focused on one aspect of consent in the sexual/relationship arena and not the rest. I had an interaction recently where someone wanted to give me information, I declined, and it sent them through the roof. Here I am thinking I have the right to decline, but that appeared not to be the case in that experience. My understanding was that the decline was “offensive” in a way.

I believe my understanding of the exchange goes to the fact that as man gent, I am never supposed to reach the cut off phase, I am expected to always be open and welcoming and willing and cool no matter what. Isn’t this a layer of the same “toxic” behaviors that landed us having a consent conversation? These roles of what is expected and how one should act. I guess the same thing I understood before I sat and listened was true… the rules were only supposed to change for one party and to benefit one party. A gent doesn’t get to say “no”, no matter how offended they may have been via the conversation or interaction.

This same thing happened recently when a friend who happens to be married, wearing a ring, declined a very forward advance from a woman. He cited politely he wasn’t interested, he was married, and wished her well. She responded “You must be gay, or have a small dick” and then tossed a full glass of water on him. Mind you he didn’t attempt to embarrass her, she was touching all on him in a bit forward way and he let it go in an effort to keep everything calm, cool, and protect her modesty. What ese could he have done really? I mean it is in these moments, the moments when a woman is violent towards a man unprovoked, and others of the nature where I would like the community stand up and how these ladies accountable for their actions and teach them better. This is what we missed, this is the part of the equation that has been lacking. The same voices that are loud to fight for well deserved, complete, equality also needs to understand that standing on the ” we know better” means there is an expectation of doing better and if not there should be a lane to be questioned and held accountable.

Is something my mother used to say to me all the time when I would say “Ma, I know already” Ha. In this ever changing climate of people coming to terms with their power and influence, I have seen people who supposedly know better make the exact same mistakes they were complaining about when they didn’t have the power. I was talking to a good friend about relationships and I remember maybe 2 years ago she complained about the terms and the ways men spoke about women and I could agree. Only to this week hear her talk about men in an even worse manner and upon attempting to hold her accountable for it….She told me to “Shut up and quit trying to police her” I was way more kind and less emotional than she was in her explanation year previous. Most often I seek to understand above anything so that I could live through this existence effectively.

SO maybe I need to ask a different question, maybe the real question is do we really know better? I mean we can fake it til we make it for sure, but maybe we know nothing. I recall looking at one of those day shows with all the women on the panel and they had a man as a guest. They ask him questions and in his reply he maybe got four words out before he was cut and drowned out by those who disagreed with his take on the manner. Mind you he didn’t have a chance to fully express his take. After looking at the clip a few times it appeared to me he was bought there for target practice on their battle field. I mean it doesn’t make sense to invite a guest to your house and barrage them, unless that was the goal overall.

In the end, I think with patience and care we can learn from one another and become better as people and create a better society for our future. A society that learns from its self and builds on top of the mistakes made.

What just happened?

Posted: April 1, 2021 in Uncategorized
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In the search for knowledge, I wonder what will we do different now? See this whole shift that our culture has taken wasn’t a SHIFT as much as an over correction. I say this because I see the same issues that those on the bottom were complaining about, they are now doing as they on the top. One of their chief complaints was they knew better and should be in control because it. My mother used to tell me “if you know better you do better” so go do better. I think balance is important to the overall health of the society and there are may people who would disagree, here is the thing what has lack of balance done for us? We have always had people richer than rich and all they have done was bully the rest and make money off the backs of the less fortunate. A visual representation is a pyramid where there are a few stones at the top and many stones at the bottom to support and haven’t we complained about it? so why is it when we get to the place to be in control we continue what we know is bad?

I remember working retail and I had a great female coworker , she could have easily run a store on her own. She complained about the female manager all the time and regaled of what she would do if she was ever in power herself. She was given the chance to be in control as she ascended to the manager role. In the following weeks she became everything she hated, even knowing what she knew. When questioned in private, she basically said “Don’t question me” and took offense to being offered perspective. So how does the society advance if they cycle is not broken? I know she felt that she was being questioned because she was a “woman in a position of power” and that wasn’t the case it was actually she was losing her team and didn’t see it. See what she didn’t understand as much about power is that when you rise to that level, the others make you believe it is an “Us vs Them” and its not, we are all on the same team and if we can’t hold each other accountable then how do we advance. The failure we have had in society before was not being able to pull our leaders to the side and inform them that they made a mistake. This practice has been continuing with the advancement of our society. We want to support the ascension of a certain group without the ability to hold them accountable for their actions.

Consider this, in this climate we think everyone is a snake and liar, yet to question them is akin to “not believing ” as opposed to just trying to understand what is happening. My mother taught me to question what I don’t know, seek information to be informed, and try to see it from the eagles eye. I wish people would consider if there are questions being asked there is a level of belief there and no decision has been made about ta situation. In the end I believe we continue to live in our lower levels, these levels of loss and LACK. See we are protesting a group of people who acquired power through blood and death to just give some power….. why would do they that? They don’t understand compromise and they fear losing control more than anything in life. They fear this because they know how bad they treated the bottom on the bottom and fear being treated equally when they hit the bottom. People on the bottom just don’t want to be on the bottom anymore and they want to be left alone. The Lack perspective doesn;t allow us to see the way out. so in the end I advise……..ASK A DIFFERENT QUESTION

I am sure anyone seeing this title would think, How do these all come together? I am going to explain, but first I want to qualify myself and say I am a huge fan of the Godfather movie, specifically the first movie. There are three components to my points so the first one is the in most cases black people don’t know or truly understand business especially in this climate. The way North America does business and control business is European and Caucasian. The story of the family coming together and building, especially as immigrants is the black american dream.

Black people have been looking for a long time a group of people to come together and build up and do something to help the community. At the beginning of the movie it is the Don’s daughters wedding and in their culture a person brings a gift and asks for something as the Don can’t refuse on ask on his daughters wedding day. In walks the baker Enzo, who years earlier the Don trying to use as a front and he refused. Enzo was a good family family and the Don knew that, plus it was the daughters wedding. The Don remembered how he was turned down from his ask but still granted the favor. This favor was small but it has the Don’s influence behind it.The Don Tells him he may call on him to do a service but until that day accept this justice as a gift on his daughters wedding day.  So fast forward maybe 45 minutes into the movie and the Don has been shot, in the hospital, left alone, and there is his son Michael and Enzo the baker bringing flowers paying his respects. The police guarding him are gone and Michael knew him being alone was not good. He asks the baker to help him move his dad to a new room, and to just stand guard like he has a gun. Enzo was frightened but guess what, they saved the Don from the men who were pulling up attempting to assassinate the Don.

So I am sure you maybe wondering how does this tie altogether, In my experience the people in my African American community get their feathers in a rough if someone can’t or won’t help them often muttering “if you can’t appreciate me at my worst then you don;t deserve me at my best”. You never know what the future holds and who can be there to save/help you.  Take the Don Had he taken that stance with the baker he and his son would have surely been killed, by him granting that favor he saved the bakers life then, and his own life later. Those in my community are so short sighted they will cut off their nose to spite their face.

 

Slow down, realize not everyone is after you or want to wish you harm some people can;t afford it and thats okay. Do the favor and come down off your high horse.