Open

Posted: April 25, 2015 in Real Ish, Relationship
Tags: , , , , , , ,

 

I am one of those people who curious about things and wonder and ask questions. The topic of open relationships popped up with a few friends the other day and they explained all the goods of the matter and how it can help which is all fine and dandy, the things is i proposed a different school of thought from all I had read. One of the first things I noticed was the person who usually introduced the idea of an open relationship in a relationship is the person who has been still out there like they are single, getting numbers flirting having conversations etc, so they have a team already in place. The other person has usually destroyed the black book, let go of opposite sex friends out of respect or the new relationship. Take a moment and look at that information one person now has a backlog of potentials and the other person is blind sided and has nothing on deck. The partner who has nothing on deck usually doesn’t want to do and will only participate in an open relationship for the other partners happiness. There was one story where a married couple tried it for a year with the woman introducing it and in the first few nights she had already racked up a few bodies at the end of the year they were divorced, he later reveals he spent most of the year in their bed crying alone nightly because guess what there is no real way to maintain a real home life and an open one and still want to have sex with your partner and give them the love and compassion because with new people there is new maintenance, split energy, split time and more. In my opinion if you have time and energy to go be open and out there why not take the same time and energy and fix your relationship so you are not looking outside of it.
The idea had been brought to me that one person can’t be all things to another one person and i agree but that’s why we have friends who we spend time with, talk to, hang out with, etc not screw, not go out and hang out, sleep with, and act like its your partner especially when you have a partner at home. There are some rare instances where it seems to have worked but what happened in those instances is that the outside person came in and they all were a couple three people in one situation and it was an experience they had together. The things I think people forget is that at the end of the day you end up being someone elses second option when you have someone at home who you are their first and only option.
Going back to the other point what do you think will happen when your partner is sitting at home with no dates, a dry phone and you are never there, or if you’re sitting there sending flirty texts laughing back and forth during your time with them, or you’re sending nudes, or just doing things with this new person you never done with them? Do you really believe your marriage will last? So while the excitement and the fun is there your home life can end up being in shambles and at the end of the day is it worth it?

 

As I end this, I have to believe that maybe I am in the minority to believe if anything else it is always easier for a woman to “attract” a partner willing to co-exist knowing their situation is open. Men by nature as glad they don;t have to deal with the extra emotional situation from a female he can just do the fun stuff and go home to maybe his own situation ir the next girl he has  the same situation. On the flip side a man is less able to get a woman to openly accept being his side piece unless she is already in the scene or curious and how many of them are openly going to admit it? In my reading and conversation more than 8 of 10 times when a woman decided she wanted to be open the dude was left dateless and alone. The truth of the matter is at the end of the day a woman doesn’t want to be another woman 2nd and that’s truth. To give better illustration woman  are the receiver and when they receive a man they get emotional and are going to want more time, more energy, more romance, and more of the love/relationship aspect and a man who has wife at home to deal with can’t give it all to her so  it fails. IF he is giving her all the attention and neglecting his wife then again whats the point of being open just divorce, love each other as friends, and move on.

 

 

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