Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

Simp???????

Posted: June 2, 2016 in Love, Relationship
Tags: , , , , ,

I am confused on a topic and I want all you people to help me out about what it is that woman want? So for those that don;t know what the word means, simp – a silly or foolish person.

I have seen women call men that for going the distance for love or for someone they care about, while at the same time complaining that men don’t do that at all. I don’t understand… I doubt I ever will. I look on the instagrams and twitters of the world and see women complain about how bad men are, don’t take care of their kids, etc etc.. So he is a simp and thirst for trying and a quitter or a villain for not trying? SMH this generation my god

Learning about Love

Posted: February 18, 2014 in I love you, Love
Tags: , , , ,

There comes a time in a man’s life when he realizes he is dedicating too much time to the love of his life. He has put her and her needs ahead of his own. While I don’t believe it is a mistake by any means, I do believe it is an imbalance especially if she is unwilling to do the same for him. I feel the same if the inverse is true (so ladies chill). I have had an experience recently that shed light on this, and made me see that the subject is worth thinking on. It is not worth it to invest so much of yourself and so much time into another person if they can’t be bothered to do the same for you in return. I know I am not doing it to get things back in return, but I am hoping that as we are sharing similar feelings something like the same can be returned. As we all know the social norm is that a relationship is 50/50 but the truth is usually it is more like 60/40 or 80/20. This could be as simple as the man not doing anything for her but she does everything for him. Her dedicating her life to him and getting nothing in return and that is a crappy balance in my humble opinion.

Hey guys just because you put food on the table that does not equal a healthy balance in the relationship department. Sometimes we have to go the extra mile; it is a need for balance for a relationship to survive. I guess this is why so many people go for open relationships because they have a need to have more from other people since their significant other can’t/won’t deliver. The other possibility is there is a cup that really doesn’t have a bottom so there is no way their significant other can fill it or any other person really so they keep tossing people and things in the hole. That’s the interesting thing, we dedicate so much of ourselves to a person we love and it turns out to be a dam joke. NO love isn’t a joke but the dance we have with it and around it is so comical. Love is the exchange of a connection spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical this connection is strengthened and weakened by the bonds of people who really care for one another. I was taught by a very wise man in my life when I was young that “Love means to share with, to care for, and protect” when you care for someone you are willing to do whatever you can for them, you are willing to protect them, and willing to share with them. Growing up you don’t really understand what love is and how it affects you. I remember there is this movie call The Brothers which stars Morris Chestnut, D.L. Hughley, Bill Bellamy, and Shemar Moore, and there is this scene where Morris’s girlfriend shares a belief that if a man is in love with you he will share his last with you. She asks him if he will eat the last chicken wing and he does, later in the movie she said “there isn’t any more cake,” and he turns and offers his last piece and she knew. Love isn’t what he say and how we say it, it is not just what we make it but also how we make it, how we express it and how we show it to those we claim to love and that are important to us by our own definition.

When we speak about our love some of us say love so freely we don’t even understand that while love is free the weight attached to it isn’t, the power we are giving to that person isn’t, and there are so many people out there looking to take advantage of that. So I leave you with the thought, are you in love and do you know what it really is?

You have to ask yourself what kind of person are you? This love  game is something serious. Men and woman are kind of the same when it comes to what they are looking for and what they expect at least initially. When looking for a future mate we are looking for someone we can deal with, spend time with, build with, have happiness, and success. We live in a society especially in America where everything is immediate and available. We speak a lot of time about the casual thing where we either have many different partners of the option for many partners, I don’t believe to many people really operate like that. This is not to say that people don’t want a small fling or a threesome etc, this is to say to have many partners all the time is not how it seems humans really work.

From some of the research I have done the people who really want the “open” & “casual” type marriage or relationship have been abused and really don;t want to get close to anyone emotionally period and really fear it. I am not saying it is everyone but i had a sample size i tested it the numbers were 4-1 easy. So this leads me back to my point which is what kind of person are you? Are you a future person or a fun times person?

A future person is a person that someone can bring home to meet the family, able to carry a good conversation past the current  evens, have stimulating conversation, and be willing to go out of your comfort zone. A fun times person is a person being sneaked in the house after curfew, never meet the parents, only get called for sex or to go out to a place with pictures on the menu. This is one of those moments where you really have to be honest. I am sure you will read both and say you’re both but you don’t see a problem being the fun times person, which there isn’t a problem with that, but you can’t expect a future person to see value in you past the  fun times as well as the fun times person seeing value in you past the same fun times.

The future people want a future person in their life, someone who is loyal and not having a jumping phone that is populated with their “side/boo thang” texts/sexts and the like, how do you expect someone to feel comfortable when you getting calls and texts all night and day? there is no reason if you are a true future person that you have that going on and yes a guy can ask to drop a person and not talk to them and you will find every reason to not d it from he/she is  like family, my best, etc. Another thing future people are usually so consumed with their future they arn’t sitting around saying “I’m bored” like they waiting for someone else to entertain them, these people are more consumed with making sure their future is going the direction they want. Maybe I am speaking out the side of my head but i venture to say I’m not just think about it, don’t take it personal.

Love is never Slent

Posted: January 16, 2014 in I love you, Love

Does your love speak as loud as this???

 

This post was inspired by a conversation with a friend of mine. If I am remembering the conversation correctly he was touching on a specific subject which is woman. A few of my friends have had this problem recently, where woman have sent them unsolicited explicit pictures. sidenote: no man will turn down great explicit pictures…..

Before I even finish where the conversation when I will say this, I believe that all woman want to be loved, cherished, and treated with a level of respect and dignity. All woman want to be lusted after, ravaged, and hungered for by a guy they love and for some woman all guys. everyone woman teases as well, it is apart of the flirting game. In this day and age tease has taken on a whole new meaning. Back in the day teasing used to be a smile, a wink, a blow of a kiss, and for the brave woman she would come close and whisper something racy in your ear. As a teenager most girls flirted the same way but there were some who stroked my arms, hand, and maybe kissed me on the cheek and the brave ones would do a sexy dance or something like that. As technology has gotten better this generation a tease is full frontal, back, side, and whatever else nudity via pictures & video.

This brings me back to my original point. Teasing is cool, it happens but when you’re sending explicit pictures and talking up your sexual prowess and what you “can do better than……” What do you expect a guy is expecting when you come to his personal residence? Do you expect him to be willing to sit and play monopoly each and every visit? If you don;t have an intention to sleep with the guy ever then why send pictures like that? Why tease and entice a guy if you arn’t going to sleep with him? I understand attention but a guy will give you attention with a smile, with a nice headshot picture, with a pleasant picture trust me he will. Ladies know this if you’re sending a guy a picture of everything you have, all your goodies, then you coming to his house or he coming to yours. What is the point? Whats the end result? Mind you I am not saying sleep with him firs time out the box or anything but slay the sexual talk because if the sexual wasn’t introduced then they guy wouldn’t have it at the forefront or press on it hard. Most guys are cool and willing to build up to it.

That leads us back t the title, a guy feel like he’s being fucked over if he is getting teased and riled all up only for the chick to come over and chill and do nothing. Not even a kiss.

 

So I ask again whats the point?

The one thing I have learned about people is that double standards are easy. The other easy thing is twisting details just enough so they don’t look as bad as they really are in the right light. Let me give you an example, when taking a test with True or False answers the key to how they get you is that all the questions are true, then they twist one word to make it false. An example of how this happens is “The sky is always blue except at night, true or false?” Upon first reading this question you would say true but there are some things that make it false always and night. Those two words are important but no the most important word, the word that changes the whole question is except… LOOOOONNNNNNGGG winded explanation right?

OK let me get to my point, Men and Woman operate on double standards all the time. For example woman want a man to “slay a dragon” for them but for men you can’t get her to make a sandwich before she think you turning her into a slave. More woman want to be approached by men, but upon approach they are instantly critical. An example of this was one day I was in downtown Manhattan people watching at the degree I was sitting at I saw a guy pull up in Bentley Coup, he walked around the corner to the starbucks in just sweats and a t-shirt. He came out and spotted a lovely looking woman who was dressed smartly in her bests skirt suit outfit and she didn’t politely turn him down and rebuff his polite advance which would have been well within her right. She yelled a the top of her lungs “GET AWAY FROM ME YOU BUM, EWWW………….” She tried to make him look bad and draw attention to herself while doing it her energy said “How dare you talk to me, You don’t have enough stamps in your passport.” To me thats overkill because she wanted to be approached as she had been strolling up an down the Ave for about 20 mins with a seduction to her hips. The guy smiled politely looked in my direction shook his head and walked back to his car, dropped the top and slowly pulled around the corner. Her eyes made contact with that car and she felt bad.

I tell you this story because you basically have to have a resume of your lie attached to your head to approach a woman but s a man we are “required” to accept a woman “as is” why the double standard??

See most woman don’t want to motivate a guy towards potential, a goal, etc. they want to come in and ride to coattails to their own goals. Let a man do something similar and he is a bum. Let him just want to be told he’s amazing and he can do anything and he is asking for to much. I made a post before about the things people need. I hope woman understand its HUMAN not just them. Now I know reading this you may wonder why I am targeting them, because men have to approach woman and what lion have you seen chase a zebra through an entire jungle?

Advisor Speakes – Loving

Posted: July 31, 2013 in Love
Tags: ,

Sometimes we have to take a moment and figure out how to be more loving to ourselves and one another, take your moment.