Archive for the ‘Relationship’ Category

I wonder why

Posted: July 3, 2016 in Relationship

This is something I have been wondering and have had on my mind. I love woman and always wan them to be respected but in this short video he touches on some of the the stuff that goes on in our society. What you find out is that men esp black men can’t have anything going on mentally, can’t have an off day, can’t disagree without dealing with the angry society doing whatever they can to take them down notches. I see this in the ray rice situation where the district attorney declined to file charges, where men are dying at a high rate because there are no resources available to assist them when they are in tough situation or abuse or any situation like woman tend to be in.

Simp???????

Posted: June 2, 2016 in Love, Relationship
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I am confused on a topic and I want all you people to help me out about what it is that woman want? So for those that don;t know what the word means, simp – a silly or foolish person.

I have seen women call men that for going the distance for love or for someone they care about, while at the same time complaining that men don’t do that at all. I don’t understand… I doubt I ever will. I look on the instagrams and twitters of the world and see women complain about how bad men are, don’t take care of their kids, etc etc.. So he is a simp and thirst for trying and a quitter or a villain for not trying? SMH this generation my god

 I want to start his post to say I LOVE WOMAN I mean I really love everything about woman, their strength, wisdom, nurturing nature, power, etc. Alot of time us guys don;t appreciate or show our appreciation as much as we should I will stand with that.

Now with that out the way some of the logic, decisions, and justification for them  leaves a lot to be desired. In fact some of the movements are terroristic in nature. Here is the definition of  it A terroristic threat is when a person threatens to commit any crime of violence against another person with the intent to terrorize. Because this is a speech based crime, it can often be difficult to determine if a person’s actions constitute a criminal offense. Now I don’t believe the intent is to be that way, I believe ladies are sharing their feelings abut situations and  it gets continuous and out of hand.  I came to this point when  was having a couple of conversations earlier and I listened to two woman justify emasculating men and then cheating on him and getting mad when he either forced them to stand tall in the mess in one case of cheated himself in the other case.

Let me tell you a secret maybe no other men will mention but ladies run the world!!! Once a man lets you into his heart you can pretty much convince him to do anything. Thats love!!

Men give women their emotional engine and expect them to protect it as fiercely as they do their own. Telling him he isn’t man enough, your ex did etc better, he could be better if… IS EMASCULATING!! You think not? Well answer me this how is telling him what he isn’t, what you ex is and ho he would have done it helping the situation? Now imagine back when you were a little lady and the cute boy you were making dough eyes at picked you friend with more chest, butt, and personality. How would you feel? OR if now in your relationship he responding to something you did or try to do with m ex would have gotten it right, or she did it better, etc. Get my point?

So back to the convo these ladies recognized they emasculated their men, then blamed him for being emasculated and decided it was better to go “feel good” for two hours and come back ready to deal with what she did then just deal with it. Thats insane to me… They had 100 reasons why it made sense. If a man presented that same case he would be a savage and wouldn’t know how to treat woman. Oh he would be an animal. Not them, not the woman she had a right to feel good. To me that feels like a reward for being an ASS and disrespectful of yourself and your relationship. It also appears to me she quit, she tears him down then quits and she seems a future bu muddied his present as well as hers and doesn’t ant to face it. I could be wrong and I could be missing something or not seeing something and if I am I stand it fully. But from their conversation I would think they want a strong man and a man who will and can do whatever for them but maybe they had been hurt. One lady said she wanted to share how she felt t him but couldn’t. HELLO there are ways to share a concern without being hurtful or example;

Money convo

her: babe, i am concerned we aren’t bringing in enough money to get to our financial goals. I know I said I would contribute half but i really feel like you should be giving more because reason 1, reason 2, reason 3. Do you think its possible?

Sex Convo

Her: Hey babe I need t have a conversation with you, Im embarrassed and its pretty difficult for me to have.  I am not being full filled as much as I would like in the bedroom and this is what i think is happening. Are you open and willing to try a few things? What can we come up with together to help? Do u have any ideas?

Other female convo

Her: Hey babe I see all these woman coming on to you and leaving messages under your pictures some of them are pretty graphic and I find it disrespectful to us and our relationship…….You get the idea

Now many women will say they have tried, but what about your tone? Here is where these ladies got crazy thinking i was asking them to be a punk.. When in reality I as asking them to be strong enough to control and constrain themselves. I have never liked being yelled at, i typically tuned most people out when they start to yell. I just felt I was a rational enough human being that I didn’t need to be yelled at by another person. Talk to me civilized or I will tune you out. My mother didn’t yell at me I am not going to have another grown person yell at me. Yelling makes people feel instantly at defense and like they are being attacked no talked with or to and in a relationship thats whats needed.

Consider these and they may help your relationship.

This posts I will admit was inspired by the social media craze of the wee the #wastinghistime2k16. There was so much laughter and it was so much of a game until the #wastinghertime2k16 one peeked out. When I talked to a few friends they told me it came from the idea that men could  do hat they wanted to do and leave a female high and dry and lead on. I understand but the problem is this society is so social media driven that this little game of hashtags will have them simple chicks thinking you can do this.

Let me start off by saying cheating is wrong, leading someone on is wrong, and being less than authentic and 100% in is wrong. This social media society has everyone feeling like they need to be wanted and need t be a celebrity and lauded by everyone. So this blog is about the people who don’t have that need the pretty regular guys. No guy just wakes up and checks out and cheats on his wife. From many of my friends and in conversation they tel me that the reason they considered cheating or did it started with communication and he lack of it. Communication was so important to those men, they felt like they were not being heard, understood or considered. They needed someone to talk to, to be emotional with, and to express their worries and their wives were not interested and often told them to suck it up. So after a while they all sough out just conversation and communication somewhere else and thats it. Through the ease of talking and lack of being able to talk to their partner a bond grew, then attraction started as they now sough to escape from where they were and then it happened.

 

All of them said they were wrong and felt bad but felt good at the time. They told me all they were seeking was to be heard and understood maybe a small stroke to the ego. Now some who are reading this may think I am blaming and I am not I am sharing their experience. The wives expressed they were angry because of something else not done and it caused them to be closed off and not care about his emotions. So both people end up being at fault he did something to start the process and she didn’t communicate how bad it hurt. It started in one area communication. So don;t waste anyones time, go be happy the first time out.

Open

Posted: April 25, 2015 in Real Ish, Relationship
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I am one of those people who curious about things and wonder and ask questions. The topic of open relationships popped up with a few friends the other day and they explained all the goods of the matter and how it can help which is all fine and dandy, the things is i proposed a different school of thought from all I had read. One of the first things I noticed was the person who usually introduced the idea of an open relationship in a relationship is the person who has been still out there like they are single, getting numbers flirting having conversations etc, so they have a team already in place. The other person has usually destroyed the black book, let go of opposite sex friends out of respect or the new relationship. Take a moment and look at that information one person now has a backlog of potentials and the other person is blind sided and has nothing on deck. The partner who has nothing on deck usually doesn’t want to do and will only participate in an open relationship for the other partners happiness. There was one story where a married couple tried it for a year with the woman introducing it and in the first few nights she had already racked up a few bodies at the end of the year they were divorced, he later reveals he spent most of the year in their bed crying alone nightly because guess what there is no real way to maintain a real home life and an open one and still want to have sex with your partner and give them the love and compassion because with new people there is new maintenance, split energy, split time and more. In my opinion if you have time and energy to go be open and out there why not take the same time and energy and fix your relationship so you are not looking outside of it.
The idea had been brought to me that one person can’t be all things to another one person and i agree but that’s why we have friends who we spend time with, talk to, hang out with, etc not screw, not go out and hang out, sleep with, and act like its your partner especially when you have a partner at home. There are some rare instances where it seems to have worked but what happened in those instances is that the outside person came in and they all were a couple three people in one situation and it was an experience they had together. The things I think people forget is that at the end of the day you end up being someone elses second option when you have someone at home who you are their first and only option.
Going back to the other point what do you think will happen when your partner is sitting at home with no dates, a dry phone and you are never there, or if you’re sitting there sending flirty texts laughing back and forth during your time with them, or you’re sending nudes, or just doing things with this new person you never done with them? Do you really believe your marriage will last? So while the excitement and the fun is there your home life can end up being in shambles and at the end of the day is it worth it?

 

As I end this, I have to believe that maybe I am in the minority to believe if anything else it is always easier for a woman to “attract” a partner willing to co-exist knowing their situation is open. Men by nature as glad they don;t have to deal with the extra emotional situation from a female he can just do the fun stuff and go home to maybe his own situation ir the next girl he has  the same situation. On the flip side a man is less able to get a woman to openly accept being his side piece unless she is already in the scene or curious and how many of them are openly going to admit it? In my reading and conversation more than 8 of 10 times when a woman decided she wanted to be open the dude was left dateless and alone. The truth of the matter is at the end of the day a woman doesn’t want to be another woman 2nd and that’s truth. To give better illustration woman  are the receiver and when they receive a man they get emotional and are going to want more time, more energy, more romance, and more of the love/relationship aspect and a man who has wife at home to deal with can’t give it all to her so  it fails. IF he is giving her all the attention and neglecting his wife then again whats the point of being open just divorce, love each other as friends, and move on.

 

 

Before I start with this post, I sat with a group on 10 woman over the past 3 weekends. We had a discussion group because hey I am a man and I can admit I don’t know all and don’t really want to know all. The most prevalent question I had about domestic violence and how the world looked at it. As expected some women had their personal experience with it and were more emotional than anything which I respect more than you know. Then I asked them for some rules for men to survive and it seemed like they all could agree on the few I am going to share with you. Before that I feel I must warn you, IF THIS IS A SENSITIVE SUBJECT OR YOU FEEL THAT YOU WILL BE MISREPRESENTED OR DISRESPECTED PLEASE TURN AROUND NOW Again these are just some of the things from the list that is not my list or show my beliefs on the matter.

 

1.) Society recognizes you as a “big, strong, man”

2.) No matter what happens its your fault

3.) No matter if she locks you in a room and stands in front the door you are supposed to walk away

4.) If she is threatening you with physical harm with a weapon you are NEVER supposed to hit her

5.) If you walk away and she chases you down and hits you with a weapon remember its your fault for walking away and provoking her to chase you down.

6.) If she comes home from a bad day and starts to verbally, emotionally, and physically abuse you its your fault because you didn’t get her out of a situation that would cause that.

7.) The most important thing to remember there is no way this is not your fault.

8.) Her beating on you is not a crime, its her letting off frustration that you probably caused.

9.) if you report it to the police they will probably take you away from the home to a friend’s house for the night and laugh at you for getting beat on by a woman and not controlling your house.

10.) Even if someone witnesses the action no one will believe she is beating on you for no reason, so way you caused this to happen.

11.) It doesn’t matter that Ray Rice wife was charging at him and that she hit her head on the elevator bar in everyone’s eyes he knocked her out

12.) As a big strong man her emotional, and mental abuse should not affect you at all, if she threatens to hurt the kids or herself then you should still be man enough to walk away from a situation like that.

13.) Remember you can’t shake, push her, or restrain her under no circumstances that is punishable by law.

14.) Domestic violence only goes one way.

Long live checking up with your mate, do the test and chase happiness.