Posts Tagged ‘woman’

I love women and I feel they should have equal rights for sure, at the same time I think this mess about men and woman being the same needs to be dropped. A friend of mine Chi Chi said it best “women are meant to be help mates.” Now  some of you silly people will argue it sounds like servitude, blah blah blah. I don’t believe that’s what I means, i believes i means that as a man is here to balance a woman, so should she balance him. I thin where people get lost is that they can’t balance both sides of the coin being independent and being a part of a team. With that said women don’t want equality in everything but consequences and punishment. To get a woman charged on certain crimes, she literally has to be caught in the act, with a video tape, blood, a signed confession, and a history and still she could go on the stand a cry and say she was beaten or batter with no evidence to support that and get less time then a man  who was held captive for 20 years and killed his captor. Our courts and police don;t believe a man can be abused or raped, courts don;t believe a man can be beaten or be a victim of any kind by a woman. Men have been convicted and in jail for rape on little to no evidence, think it never happens? You got 20 mins?

 

She is being accused of they convicted him on zero evidence AGAINST HIM. she is gonna get maybe a year he was on the hook for 20 and served 4 years. A lot of women think this is okay, I don’t believe its okay, not only for him but the thousands of women who have a hard time being believed for their real rapes.Her lawyer ask for mercy and understanding. WHY? dudes name been dragged through the mud and will forever be linked with rape, her friends sat in court knowing some of the evidence was a lie and still was okay with it. She gets n the sand, tells her story, cries acts like she didn’t know what to do and she gets less time. Let me tell you something a court case doesn’t take a day, just to get to trail it may take a year, gathering evidence, interviews etc. there is time to change your mind and story. A man can’t cry on the stand and get sympathy. In the end, i think we are different and we needs to spend a lot more time appreciating, celebrating our differences and staying in our lanes as needed.

 I want to start his post to say I LOVE WOMAN I mean I really love everything about woman, their strength, wisdom, nurturing nature, power, etc. Alot of time us guys don;t appreciate or show our appreciation as much as we should I will stand with that.

Now with that out the way some of the logic, decisions, and justification for them  leaves a lot to be desired. In fact some of the movements are terroristic in nature. Here is the definition of  it A terroristic threat is when a person threatens to commit any crime of violence against another person with the intent to terrorize. Because this is a speech based crime, it can often be difficult to determine if a person’s actions constitute a criminal offense. Now I don’t believe the intent is to be that way, I believe ladies are sharing their feelings abut situations and  it gets continuous and out of hand.  I came to this point when  was having a couple of conversations earlier and I listened to two woman justify emasculating men and then cheating on him and getting mad when he either forced them to stand tall in the mess in one case of cheated himself in the other case.

Let me tell you a secret maybe no other men will mention but ladies run the world!!! Once a man lets you into his heart you can pretty much convince him to do anything. Thats love!!

Men give women their emotional engine and expect them to protect it as fiercely as they do their own. Telling him he isn’t man enough, your ex did etc better, he could be better if… IS EMASCULATING!! You think not? Well answer me this how is telling him what he isn’t, what you ex is and ho he would have done it helping the situation? Now imagine back when you were a little lady and the cute boy you were making dough eyes at picked you friend with more chest, butt, and personality. How would you feel? OR if now in your relationship he responding to something you did or try to do with m ex would have gotten it right, or she did it better, etc. Get my point?

So back to the convo these ladies recognized they emasculated their men, then blamed him for being emasculated and decided it was better to go “feel good” for two hours and come back ready to deal with what she did then just deal with it. Thats insane to me… They had 100 reasons why it made sense. If a man presented that same case he would be a savage and wouldn’t know how to treat woman. Oh he would be an animal. Not them, not the woman she had a right to feel good. To me that feels like a reward for being an ASS and disrespectful of yourself and your relationship. It also appears to me she quit, she tears him down then quits and she seems a future bu muddied his present as well as hers and doesn’t ant to face it. I could be wrong and I could be missing something or not seeing something and if I am I stand it fully. But from their conversation I would think they want a strong man and a man who will and can do whatever for them but maybe they had been hurt. One lady said she wanted to share how she felt t him but couldn’t. HELLO there are ways to share a concern without being hurtful or example;

Money convo

her: babe, i am concerned we aren’t bringing in enough money to get to our financial goals. I know I said I would contribute half but i really feel like you should be giving more because reason 1, reason 2, reason 3. Do you think its possible?

Sex Convo

Her: Hey babe I need t have a conversation with you, Im embarrassed and its pretty difficult for me to have.  I am not being full filled as much as I would like in the bedroom and this is what i think is happening. Are you open and willing to try a few things? What can we come up with together to help? Do u have any ideas?

Other female convo

Her: Hey babe I see all these woman coming on to you and leaving messages under your pictures some of them are pretty graphic and I find it disrespectful to us and our relationship…….You get the idea

Now many women will say they have tried, but what about your tone? Here is where these ladies got crazy thinking i was asking them to be a punk.. When in reality I as asking them to be strong enough to control and constrain themselves. I have never liked being yelled at, i typically tuned most people out when they start to yell. I just felt I was a rational enough human being that I didn’t need to be yelled at by another person. Talk to me civilized or I will tune you out. My mother didn’t yell at me I am not going to have another grown person yell at me. Yelling makes people feel instantly at defense and like they are being attacked no talked with or to and in a relationship thats whats needed.

Consider these and they may help your relationship.

Something fun to break the heat. Don’t forget to put your score in the comments folks and most of all have fun.

Before I start with this post, I sat with a group on 10 woman over the past 3 weekends. We had a discussion group because hey I am a man and I can admit I don’t know all and don’t really want to know all. The most prevalent question I had about domestic violence and how the world looked at it. As expected some women had their personal experience with it and were more emotional than anything which I respect more than you know. Then I asked them for some rules for men to survive and it seemed like they all could agree on the few I am going to share with you. Before that I feel I must warn you, IF THIS IS A SENSITIVE SUBJECT OR YOU FEEL THAT YOU WILL BE MISREPRESENTED OR DISRESPECTED PLEASE TURN AROUND NOW Again these are just some of the things from the list that is not my list or show my beliefs on the matter.

 

1.) Society recognizes you as a “big, strong, man”

2.) No matter what happens its your fault

3.) No matter if she locks you in a room and stands in front the door you are supposed to walk away

4.) If she is threatening you with physical harm with a weapon you are NEVER supposed to hit her

5.) If you walk away and she chases you down and hits you with a weapon remember its your fault for walking away and provoking her to chase you down.

6.) If she comes home from a bad day and starts to verbally, emotionally, and physically abuse you its your fault because you didn’t get her out of a situation that would cause that.

7.) The most important thing to remember there is no way this is not your fault.

8.) Her beating on you is not a crime, its her letting off frustration that you probably caused.

9.) if you report it to the police they will probably take you away from the home to a friend’s house for the night and laugh at you for getting beat on by a woman and not controlling your house.

10.) Even if someone witnesses the action no one will believe she is beating on you for no reason, so way you caused this to happen.

11.) It doesn’t matter that Ray Rice wife was charging at him and that she hit her head on the elevator bar in everyone’s eyes he knocked her out

12.) As a big strong man her emotional, and mental abuse should not affect you at all, if she threatens to hurt the kids or herself then you should still be man enough to walk away from a situation like that.

13.) Remember you can’t shake, push her, or restrain her under no circumstances that is punishable by law.

14.) Domestic violence only goes one way.

I was trolling on the internet and ran into this, i read the entire thing and i hope you do as well and i hope that the information serves you well. It is specifically geared towards men but I am sure woman could find a lace of reference in here as well.

MARRIAGE ADVICE ………..FROM A FAN……..

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…

1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him ‘I do’, and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

This upcoming post may or may not piss some people off.  will be honest and say the only reason I am dong this post is because I am confused a bit and I guess in a need to clear my head or the question I will post it here. I will probably start off with some quotes and then go into my thoughts. I did a post like this recently here if you want to check it out. After seeing a few videos recently and a couple of conversations I thought about sharing my confusion.

Let me” start off my saying I Love woman but at times ya’ll can be a confusing bunch of people. like some of these quotes should help you see my confusion.

“Feminists want equality without accountability. This translates into special rights for woman.”

“They blame men for “Rape Culture”.. yet manipulate men with their body”

“They denounce “Male Privilege..”  yet benefit from male sacrifice.”

“They demand equal pay, yet refuse equal work.”

“They expect men to pay for dates, yet claim to be “strong & independent” ”

“They demand equal treatment… yet exploit Affirmative Action.”

“They shame male sexuality… yet excuse female immorality.”

“They condemn players yet praise sluts”

Now I have seen many members of the media who say that even woman sex offenders are “pushed” by a man to do it.  Woman are cruel, they will take jobs around the people they abuse….. IDk maybe I’ll finish the thought.

A woman will cheat on her man all day, Maybe she’ll hide it maybe not. She may look at her man and want him to get jealous of the other guy. The minute he does “what you don’t trust me?” She may even look at her own man as undesirable, and if she doesn’t desire him then who else would?

At the same time she is treating him like she doesn’t want him and he’s the ugliest thing in the world. The minute another woman shows a bit of interest in a compliment, a harmless flirt or even right out wants to get at her man she is out in the open clawing at her eyes.

So basically she can do whatever and its “ok” but let him do something and its martial law?

Just interesting!!!!

I’ve watched this happen a few times int he street or with people i casually know. Its funny because when asked “Is this our new norm and what we are doing?” the woman will reply no and feel bad for a few secs and thats it, she”ll go back to doing whats he wants to do. Because really its about her and her wants.

I know for myself, I ask because I feel if you are confident enough to do it, cop to it, lets call it our new normal and now i know whats going on and i can adjust myself accordingly.  I wonder if the adjustment is whats so hard for the woman. Maybe!!